need to get this out of me

have you ever tried so hard to sort something out until you start to feel like everything is your fault. well thats how i’m starting to feel right now. since my son was 2 years old i no-test something was just not right about him. his development has always been behind (walking,talking,sitting up,potty) but everytime i tried to get help no-one gave a shit..untill he hit 3 years old and the health woman started to no-test stuff and got the ball rolling.

since then he has had help with his talking until they blanked liam for 6months and i had to teach him (they forgot) but soon after a lady came to my flat and said sorry for the wait she was shocked that liam was talking. he’s post to be getting one2one help with talking at school but i do not no when?

liam has probs with anger and will hit out. i have been saying this since he was 2 but like i was told ALL CHILDREN DO THIS. i know for a fact not all children do this and that something was not right. pre-school got to a point they was finding him hard but they would tell me this but tell doctors and health people different. school has told me that liam keeps hitting children and they have to give him time out. ive been told they are going to be making a smiley face bored for liam but why do i think this is not going to work. they have also no-test that he does not like making eye contact with people but i new this. the children at school are telling there family’s about my son and people have started to give me looks when i’m with him. i feel like shouting DO YOU WANT A PHOTO.

before people start saying stuff about me thinking i don’t do crap when hes being bad…when liam is being a pain or even hurts people i ban him from watching tv and i take away his favorite books and cars and tell him what he has done wrong . i’m trying so hard but i feel like i’m failing on his anger. i’m so scared that hes not going to have any friends because of this and that makes me want to cry…

15 thoughts on “need to get this out of me

  1. I don’t know your name, but I had to reply to your post. YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER! You haven’t done anything wrong and your son doesn’t understand fully. But for you, ask God to help you to help yourself. You must begin to speak to yourself and tell yourself that I am going to make it through this. Give it time, try little challenges with Liam and when he does good, praise him. It’s going to take some work. Reach out to the doctor’s and tell them everything. But for today, I want you to Smile.

  2. Sweetheart, has he been given any kind of diagnosis? I ask because it sounds like ADHD, which my nephew has been recently diagnosed with (15 years old). I don’t know a great deal about it but what you describe is exactly how my niece described her brother. Don’t beat yourself up because from everything I’ve read on your blog, you’re an excellent mother who tries her damnedest.

  3. sadly can’t get a diagnosis until school get into gear (been fighting for one age 2).

    i had a good chat with my fella who says be happy he’s acting like this because he might get the help faster but what is making me cry is that i’m scared he’s not going to have any friends because of his probs. when i was a little girl (his age) i only had one friend all because i was slow and sadly in the 90s children and teachers thought if they went near me they become dumb…but soon as i hit 11 and went to the right school what could help me, i soon made friends with people who had the same probs as me (still best friends with my one childhood friend). but people don’t understand that what happened when i was a child has kind of messed me up…im 27 and i’m scared around people and i find it hard to make friends because i don’t want them to no i have probs.

    im a mum and a dad so i’m doing the mum stuff but i’m also doing what dads are post to do. im also a working parent. sometimes i feel like i’m building a wall but sometimes that wall falls down and i have to put it up again. got to keep on smiling but sometimes its hard to smile when you feel like your not doing your best.

    i always say god got a plan but the waiting game sucks.

    • Oh, I do understand, Kira. You have a great deal to cope with and all I can do is send you all the strength I can to help you. Be brave. Look after yourself as well as Liam. Yup, the waiting game sucks. Try to have a good night’s sleep. x

  4. spent this morning after work ringing up portage and doctors because i found out that liam is NOT aloud to sit with the other children. he needs to be tested for ADHD or autism…

    • Definitely. And keep at them until they agree to test him. Since my nephew was diagnosed, I’ve come to realise that his father, my estranged brother, must have undiagnosed ADHD. It certainly explains a lot of his behaviour, particularly when we were children. Take care.

  5. HI

    My friend went through something very similar to you, she knew something was off (for want of a better word) he is now age 7 and still hasn’t recieved a diagnoisis. He is smart, really smart but doesn’t have the attention span. He also has meltdowns because something is different. Its not that he is having a strop over not getting something, he literally cannot process something and that causes a melt down.

    If you keep pushing and keep going for it, you may be able to get a loose diagnoises, so one which no one will confirm properly and its more like this could be it, but it will open doors for you.

    Hope that helps and please remember you are not alone in this

  6. It sounds to me like your son is autistic. Can you take him to the doctor and not wait on the school in orde to get a diagnosis? There is a whole online community out there for parents with autistic children. None of my children were ever autistic, but I have known several families with autistic children. You might want to connect with that community. I’m sure they will be sympathetic and may have more ideas for resources for you. Hugs!

    • i have been fighting for a test since he was 2 but kept getting told there was nothing wrong and this is what children do….it got to a point i said wait till he goes to school they will see there is something wrong….soon as he hit school boom,

  7. From my experience with working with children and adults with SEN for a number of years, I believe that Liam is high on the autistic spectrum. If you can get a doctor or health visitor to agree, which I think they would, then the school has to act.

  8. You’re doing a great job. I’ve found with my son that consequences have had little effect, often the reverse and its hard to accept. You don’t know what to do and no one understands. Its tough.. Hang in there ☺

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