bringing in 30

its tuesday and not alot has gone on hmmm well i have now been told that i’m having a 3oth birthday party . if i admit it the only reason my fella is sorting out a party is because i told him on my 30th i’m not doing nothing and i’m spending my birthday meal in mcdonalds with liam lol.  he says you only turn 30 once but like i said no one gives a crap if i’m turning 30 lol.

hey i’m not gonna forget my 30th lol.

Also made my mind up that i’m not gonna even celebrate it because last year no one gave a crap i was now 29 and i only got 2 phone calls (mom and dad) and a text 3 days later. but i will open my cards and get a small cake because of my son..im gonna even take the age thing off facebook so no-one can bug me on that day…

i just don’t see the point in celebrating if no one cares lol.

Why me

Why do I keep having crazy nightmare’s. It’s nearly 3am and I’ve just woken up feeling very hot and scared. I had a dream someone rang up my phone but I didn’t pick up so they left a voicemail…it said I’m coming to get you and that my door was left open. I woke up feeling like I was about to poop myself. I went to see if Liam is OK and he’s in a deep (cat can’t even bug him).

hi

its now sunday and i’m home just chilling about to make a nice hot drink before i go to bed.

but i did want to write about how i have been feeling abit low. don’t get me wrong i’m not having probs with liam and home stuff…but work has been the hard one. i try so hard to keep people happy but i just feel like my best is just not good for some people. on top of that people what where very near to me have now stopped talking to me and it’s because i work for new people now and that makes me feel like poop and makes my job feel odd when i see them and when i say hello and i get nothing (not even a smile).

maybe next week will be better.

scary as pie

last night i went to bed at 10pm and forgot to lock up but i know for a fact i put the door on yale lock so everything was gonna be ok. at night i keep my bedroom door a little bit open because i’m scared of the dark and yes i’m 29. i woke up at 3am and saw that my door was closed so i thought it must of been the cat. i woke up at 4am to get ready for work to see that my door was open so i thought i must of dreamt it. but when i saw the kitchen door i click on something was no right. that door was open and i know that i closed that because the cat likes the bin. when it was time to leave i went to the door (what is downstairs) i saw something scary…the door was not locked. so i ran back upstairs to see if someone was in my flat and if anything was missing but nope everything was ok and where it has been at night.

i did not tell anyone about it and nope i didn’t’ ring the police but tonight i will be locking everything up.

o-o hello its me

i’m in bed watching some tv and talking to my cat when i clicked on how i do not have friends.  i have people i talk to but i don’t have people who want to see me for a coffee or ask me when i’m free or if they can come to mine and hang out.

i spend alot of time just chilling with my son and cat…would be nice to have a friend.

health update

well after a hard long think and a chat with family… i’m gonna be taking a break from facebook and i’ve got to start thinking about who i call friends but don’t worry still be blogging .

on Tuesday night i had some drama again but this time it ended up with me in tears and I started to feel very low and at breaking point. i think people by now will click on that i have not been well and i’m kind of sick of telling people that i’m fine. my stress levels are high, i can’t sleep, tummy probs,low days, nightmares and on top of that my hair is falling out and going abit grey. it’s also not been the best year for me with the family dog passing, work, money, ex’s, friends aka drama. i badly need to sort out my head and fix up my health and on top of that Santa is coming and i want to be happy not feeling ill.

i’m gonna have a month off facebook  but could be longer if needed.