well it has been my week off and wow it’s been lovely to just chill and not stress over stuff.
I got paid yesterday and ended up buying a new bed. I have been putting it off for a very long time but on thursday night I was laying next to my fella when I said his side of the bed was dipping but after a long chat i found out it was my side not his what was sinking to the floor (its a old divan). So on friday i had to buy a new bed or I be sleeping on the floor and also my back is always in pain. The first shop we went to was the British Heart Foundation and wow there beds looked like poop. I ended up making my mind that I wanted to new bed and just pay it off monthly because my dad always says it’s better to buy something new. So we went to Bensons For Beds and wow the bed what i have been looked at for months online…long story short my new bed is coming on the 6/3/19 🙂 (victoria lavender crush).
Do you ever remember a old story being told to you when you was a child but you thought naaa it’s just a lie. On 24th december i went to see my grandparents and they mentioned there old house they used to live in (Skegness-Friskney). I remembered this thing they told me and other family members about what happened to that house in the war.
There was a story that a old ww2 plane crashed into the house and parts went everywhere sometime in the 1940s and that the guy flying the plane died.
Where they lived was a old farm house with a very big garden…Soooooo big they had a caravan in it and a play area for us grandkids. But there was only one part we was not aloud to go near and that was the very big orchard and if we did go in there without a adult we would get a good telling off about it. We was only aloud in the orchard to pick apples with my nan but i remember the grass being long and the ground being very bumpy. I was told a story that there were still plane parts on the ground so me being a dumb 7 year old i thought it was plane parts every time i felt a bump.
Well today i found out the truth about what happened. It happened on the 3-4th March 1945, It was a Halifax Mark111 bomber , The team he was with was attacked, 7 crew but 4 lived (someone says), PILOT – P/O A.E. SCHRANK died. The plane crashed and demolished a farm house, Mother and daughter died but father lived. https://www.bbc.co.uk/history/ww2peopleswar/stories/44/a3263744.shtml
i wonder if the old house used to be in the orchard? but i can always remember spending my 6 week holiday at that house and every night i had to sleep with the bedroom door open and sleep with my sister or cousin in the room because i felt like someone was watching me and i used to hear footsteps at night when everyone was in bed.
It’s that time of the year when everyone gets stressed over silly stuff and money is just like sand going down a big hole. The lights are up and also my electric bill lol.
well this feels very odd to be writing a blog. i think it has been a month since i put up a post about how i was feeling and i think it be good to just say that i am feeling fine and keeping to myself. i even went out on halloween (night clubbing). i do keep having thoughts that something bad is gonna happen to me everytime i’m not home but i’m working on trying to not worry about stuff like that.
the only prob i have been having is that i keep going dizzy to a point i had to take a sick day on thursday because i just felt like i was just gonna fall over. i went to work yesterday but had chest pain so took everything slowly so i won’t be sick on anything lol. i’m gonna try and book to see a doctor on monday to see what is going on because this also happened to me 2week ago.
oh and i did find out some news yesterday about a ex friend of mine trying to help someone who made my life very uncomfortable so i went and blocked them.
i think people might of notice that i have not been blogging alot lately and that i have been keeping to myself. well alot of stuff has been going on in my life that sadly i can’t say online or i could get into alot of crap,
but i can say that since this crap has happened i have been having probs with my anxiety and been feeling low again. i have notice that…
- i have been eating alot of junk and i know this sounds silly but i try to stop but i can’t.
- i’m emotional and one min i’m happy as pie but next i’m crying and sad but i don’t understand why.
- i’ve been having nightmares and because of this i’m having about 4 to 5hour of sleep.
- i’m started to block people away from me because i feel like everyone is talking crap about me. i’m only talking to family and boyfriend.
- i only leave my home when i need to BUT i am going out around town at some point because my fella thinks it be good for me to see friends.
- everytime i go outside anywhere i feel like i’m gonna walk into people i really don’t want to see (reason why i like being at home).
- sometimes i get very stressed till a point i’m making myself ill with worry and stress.
right now i just want to sort myself out and don’t worry i will be blogging again.
september has gone and it’s time to start a new month and lets pray it’s better than the last month. sadly i can not say what went down last month but i can say that..
- some people are proud of me and some people have just stopped talking to me because i finally talked.
- some people talk alot of crap about me.
- i hate rumours.
i just hope that this month is gonna be so much better and less stress. i’m trying so hard to just keep to myself and just trust my family and fella