hello again

well this feels very odd to be writing a blog. i think it has been a month since i put up a post about how i was feeling and i think it be good to just say that i am feeling fine and keeping to myself. i even went out on halloween (night clubbing). i do keep having thoughts that something bad is gonna happen to me everytime i’m not home but i’m working on trying to not worry about stuff like that.

the only prob i have been having is that i keep going dizzy to a point i had to take a sick day on thursday because i just felt like i was just gonna fall over. i went to work yesterday but had chest pain so took everything slowly so i won’t be sick on anything lol. i’m gonna try and book to see a doctor on monday to see what is going on because this also happened to me 2week ago.

oh and i did find out some news yesterday about a ex friend of mine trying to help someone who made my life very uncomfortable so i went and blocked them.

life right now

i think people might of notice that i have not been blogging alot lately and that i have been keeping to myself. well alot of stuff has been going on in my life that sadly i can’t say online or i could get into alot of crap,

but i can say that since this crap has happened i have been having probs with my anxiety and been feeling low again. i have notice that…

  1. i have been eating alot of junk and i know this sounds silly but i try to stop but i can’t.
  2. i’m emotional and one min i’m happy as pie but next i’m crying and sad but i don’t understand why.
  3. i’ve been having nightmares and because of this i’m having about 4 to 5hour of sleep.
  4. i’m started to block people away from me because i feel like everyone is talking crap about me. i’m only talking to family and boyfriend.
  5. i only leave my home when i need to BUT i am going out around town at some point because my fella thinks it be good for me to see friends.
  6. everytime i go outside anywhere i feel like i’m gonna walk into people i really don’t want to see (reason why i like being at home).
  7. sometimes i get very stressed till a point i’m making myself ill with worry and stress.

right now i just want to sort myself out and don’t worry i will be blogging again.

bye september

september has gone and it’s time to start a new month and lets pray it’s better than the last month. sadly i can not say what went down last month but i can say that..

  1. some people are proud of me and some people have just stopped talking to me because i finally talked.
  2. some people talk alot of crap about me.
  3. i hate rumours.

i just hope that this month is gonna be so much better and less stress. i’m trying so hard to just keep to myself and just trust my family and fella

O_O hi

hello everyone. sorry for not writing anything for a week. shock of the week NOTHING BAD HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK and because of this i have been feeling bril all week and less stressed.

only prob i’m having right now is this bloody weather we are having. its nearly october and its hot as pie.  oh and there is a cat what loves to hang about near my flat (leave my peggy alone lol).

the NHS is a bloody joke

i have been feeling low for about 3weeks and today i thought ok i’m gonna go see a doctor and see if they can help me out. i went in to book and nope no-one can see me. when i was walking out the building someone asked me if i was ok and sadly i had to hold my tears and say i’m fine.

i can’t say what is going on in my life right now but i feel like i’m gonna go bang.