i have been feeling low for about 3weeks and today i thought ok i’m gonna go see a doctor and see if they can help me out. i went in to book and nope no-one can see me. when i was walking out the building someone asked me if i was ok and sadly i had to hold my tears and say i’m fine.
i can’t say what is going on in my life right now but i feel like i’m gonna go bang.
today i have just been cleaning up my home to keep my mind off stuff and building stuff on minecraft for my son.
today is my 29th birthday and no joke i only got 3 cards this year (my nan and grandad, mum and dad, sister and her fella). mostly i get more then that but nope it looks like people forgot. on top of that no-one has come round to see me today and the only people who rang to say happy birthday was my mum and dad.
kind of want to go to bed now 😦
just found out today that the old school i went to in my teens is moving to a new building and is getting a new name. i feel kind of sad about it because i had so many good memories from that school but i’m also happy because they need more space.
28 and feeling old as pie.
i can’t wait to start a new year and put everything what happened in the bin.
2016 has kind of been crap for me…if someone said hey this year your job will change, family dog will be put to sleep, find out ya ex was cheating on ya, son needs more help (life skills/probs) ,money probs (thankyou kirklees), some crazy person will go round blacking your name, date someone and they dump you for money/work, you will end a 20 year friendship…..
lets hope next year will be a hell of alot better.
before i left my moms yesterday (working) i went and had a look at the list the school gave me. it said Liam’s class was having a party but did not say nothing about no school gear. i went to pick him up to see that his class was in there party gear and school have put a shirt on Liam so he will fit in. i felt so bad for not putting him in his own stuff but it didn’t say anything in the letter. Liam didn’t seem to care he was happy he went to a party and he kept going on about dancing….. but i do feel bad.
sorry for not blogging since friday. sometimes i just don’t think people want to know whats going on in my crazy mind. one min i feel happy as pie but soon as i sit down and i’m alone my head starts to think and i feel lonely as pie.
i’ve also notice since i’ve been keeping to myself the people i don’t mostly talk to are being friendly but the people who say there my friends have not said a thing and have not even asked me if i’m ok and also last week when i told someone about not feeling to good he only said alright (O_O). i’ve made up my mind that soon as 2017 hits alot of people are going and i’m gonna try and make new friends (but don’t no how lol).
well after a hard long think and a chat with family… i’m gonna be taking a break from facebook and i’ve got to start thinking about who i call friends but don’t worry still be blogging .
on Tuesday night i had some drama again but this time it ended up with me in tears and I started to feel very low and at breaking point. i think people by now will click on that i have not been well and i’m kind of sick of telling people that i’m fine. my stress levels are high, i can’t sleep, tummy probs,low days, nightmares and on top of that my hair is falling out and going abit grey. it’s also not been the best year for me with the family dog passing, work, money, ex’s, friends aka drama. i badly need to sort out my head and fix up my health and on top of that Santa is coming and i want to be happy not feeling ill.
i’m gonna have a month off facebook but could be longer if needed.