life right now

i think people might of notice that i have not been blogging alot lately and that i have been keeping to myself. well alot of stuff has been going on in my life that sadly i can’t say online or i could get into alot of crap,

but i can say that since this crap has happened i have been having probs with my anxiety and been feeling low again. i have notice that…

  1. i have been eating alot of junk and i know this sounds silly but i try to stop but i can’t.
  2. i’m emotional and one min i’m happy as pie but next i’m crying and sad but i don’t understand why.
  3. i’ve been having nightmares and because of this i’m having about 4 to 5hour of sleep.
  4. i’m started to block people away from me because i feel like everyone is talking crap about me. i’m only talking to family and boyfriend.
  5. i only leave my home when i need to BUT i am going out around town at some point because my fella thinks it be good for me to see friends.
  6. everytime i go outside anywhere i feel like i’m gonna walk into people i really don’t want to see (reason why i like being at home).
  7. sometimes i get very stressed till a point i’m making myself ill with worry and stress.

right now i just want to sort myself out and don’t worry i will be blogging again.

what a week

got to admit that this week has sucked monkey balls. just one simple thing can mess up your week and make you feel like a bug under a boot.

i made my mind up that saturday was gonna be a fun day and forget about what happened this week. took liam and scott to town and wow they do both make me laugh but if i hear i want to go home one more time i’m gonna scream lol.

this morning was not fun. i woke up at 3am to scott snoring his head off. it got to a point when i got my pillow and red blanket and slept on liam’s floor. i was woken up at 7:30am to liam hitting me with teddys thinking that i was a monster on his floor 0.0.

yesterday

2pm yesterday i was just getting ready to go to my mums when I got a phone call from liam school. liam had one of his fits in his class and the ambulance was on there way. the walk to his school is 20mins but I ran like the wind and did it in 15mins.

wnen we got to Calderdale Royal Hospital liam was still blacked out but because there was no rooms we had to wait in the waiting room with my son in my arms. he came round after a hour and I had to tell him what had happened. we was suck in the waiting room for 3 years and spent a hour in the doctor room until they came back with the tests saying everything was ok but he needs to do a wee test but because liam was now asleep we have to do that at home.

he slept in my bed last night and is still in my bed right now watching youtube. he has to go and see a doctor and give them the wee test and see if he is ok.

busy Monday

got up at 4am and was in work by 4:45am. left work after 4hours and walked up to the my son’s school and found out he left his school bag at his nans so I had to go home and drop his night stuff at mine then go to his nans to get his school bag and go up to school and drop it off so by the time I got home it was 10am. at 11am I got a phone call from my boss asking if I could pop in at 12pm for 2hours because a cleaner has phoned in sick and I said ok. went back to work at 11:30am to 13:30pm and by the time I got home I just wanted to fall over lol.