life right now

i think people might of notice that i have not been blogging alot lately and that i have been keeping to myself. well alot of stuff has been going on in my life that sadly i can’t say online or i could get into alot of crap,

but i can say that since this crap has happened i have been having probs with my anxiety and been feeling low again. i have notice that…

  1. i have been eating alot of junk and i know this sounds silly but i try to stop but i can’t.
  2. i’m emotional and one min i’m happy as pie but next i’m crying and sad but i don’t understand why.
  3. i’ve been having nightmares and because of this i’m having about 4 to 5hour of sleep.
  4. i’m started to block people away from me because i feel like everyone is talking crap about me. i’m only talking to family and boyfriend.
  5. i only leave my home when i need to BUT i am going out around town at some point because my fella thinks it be good for me to see friends.
  6. everytime i go outside anywhere i feel like i’m gonna walk into people i really don’t want to see (reason why i like being at home).
  7. sometimes i get very stressed till a point i’m making myself ill with worry and stress.

right now i just want to sort myself out and don’t worry i will be blogging again.

the NHS is a bloody joke

i have been feeling low for about 3weeks and today i thought ok i’m gonna go see a doctor and see if they can help me out. i went in to book and nope no-one can see me. when i was walking out the building someone asked me if i was ok and sadly i had to hold my tears and say i’m fine.

i can’t say what is going on in my life right now but i feel like i’m gonna go bang.

not cool

don’t you just hate it when someone rings you the day before and says hey i’m popping up at 4pm tomorrow and you say ok. i spent this morning making the house look good and telling liam to not walk and eat.

Its now 4;36pm and no one has showed up..arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

so yer this happened to me

35877655_10215501835835124_8586536585674096640_nWell i did a silly thing yesterday.

At 10am i went down my flat stairs to go outside to put stuff into the black bin . When I was going down the concrete stairs i missed my stepping and fell down two steps and landed onto the floor and my foot bent funny. At first i thought i just bruised it but soon as i went to pick liam up i knew i done something else because i could not even walk on it anymore. So ended up going to the HRI. Hospitel thought the same as me but soon as the xray came back nope i’ve gone a chipped a bone but that explains why i’m in pain.

 

O_O hi

thankyou for all the birthday message’s. i got my 4th card at 10pm and yesterday other family members remembered to send a bloody message.

anyway i had some good news. i had a phone call to tell me that there gonna be testing my son for ADHD BUT they don’t no if he has it 0-0 and it might be something else. but i’m just happy that the doctor got them to push it seeing that school keep saying they will.

i kind of had a crappy morning. i went to work like normal and ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. a staff member was in a mood with me because i’m off next week and i had someone trying very hard to make me feel like i’m a failure (all before 7am). i was so happy to get home and yell into a pillow.

anyway i’m off to watch my boy play minecraft…..

birthday

today i have just been cleaning up my home to keep my mind off stuff and building stuff on minecraft for my son.

today is my 29th birthday and no joke i only got 3 cards this year (my nan and grandad, mum and dad, sister and her fella). mostly i get more then that but nope it looks like people forgot. on top of that no-one has come round to see me today and the only people who rang to say happy birthday was my mum and dad.

kind of want to go to bed now 😦

ARRR HE’S A PRO

I got a phone call from school yesterday saying liam had been sick. I went to pick him up and when walking home I rang up my mum and told her I think he’s faking because he does not look sick and he is not hot. soon as he got home the little sod says mummy I feel better can I play on the xbox. I WAS NOT HAPPY. I told him no because you are sick and sick people stay in bed and watch tv.

today he is still home because school say he has to stay off till Monday….BUT NOTHING IS WRONG.