before i left my moms yesterday (working) i went and had a look at the list the school gave me. it said Liam’s class was having a party but did not say nothing about no school gear. i went to pick him up to see that his class was in there party gear and school have put a shirt on Liam so he will fit in. i felt so bad for not putting him in his own stuff but it didn’t say anything in the letter. Liam didn’t seem to care he was happy he went to a party and he kept going on about dancing….. but i do feel bad.
woke up at 4am and started to plan out my day. i had my morning coffee and started to get ready for work but soon as i got to work everything just went wrong. the hoover thought it be a good idea to not work so i had to bush the mat’s , floor needed a bush what was a mess but was asked why i was doing it because it should of been done early on, bins full , no bog roll and on top of that cleaning department was a mess. it also looks like someone has walked out of a job so YEP (and no not me). soon as i got home i just fell onto my bed and felt like saying wow. i’m thinking about ringing up this cleaning company because i still don’t have my uniform and it’s been a month now.
its 1:05am and i’m awake with my head full of stuff what sadly i can’t say on the blog. maybe later i might do a blog about it but right now nope.
this week i had a meeting with liam’s school. he’s doing ok in class but still needs help. the hurting people has not stopped and no-one knows why he does it. my biggest worry right now is how liam can’t walk properly and i found out he failed a test at school about that but the scary thing i’ve been told is if the doctors don’t sort it out now he could end up having surgery when older on his feet. right now there trying to teach him how to sit up and other stuff to help him with his back. school psychologist are coming out to see him so lets see what they say about liam.
i found out something a little bit hurtful but it’s not new and we are kind of getting used to it. a parent went around my son’s class and gave out birthday invites to all the children but NOT LIAM.
just because my son has special needs does not mean he’s a bad person. yes he’s a little bit different to the other children but don’t treat him like he’s a bad egg. my son is a lovely , funny, caring happy boy who just wants a friend.
if it came to it i could come to the party’s and keep a eye open on him when he’s having fun with his friends and you don’t even have to talk to me…..
well i have been to see a doctor and found out that i’m stressed to the bone but like i said well hell yer not alot of people can say they found out there ex was cheating , son has crazy probs at school to a point i’m in meetings, gonna be working for a new cleaning company and know nothing about them ,dog got put to sleep because he was ill and it had to be me who had to be there when it happened because family was on holiday 😦 , i was with someone and thought everything was good until it was over , friend fall outs, then clicked on something is not right with something (can’t say online). hmmm have i not said that this is my 2016 (>_<).
been told i need to start relaxing but HOW DO YOU DO THAT (O_O). something is always bloody going on in my life.
2016 has been a crap year for me but also it has made me realize how lucky i am to have a son who thinks the universe of me.
why has 2016 been a big mess up.
everything what has happened this year has been a right mess.
can’t wait for 2017….
first i want to say sorry for not doing any blogs for some days. i deleted my last blog i had on here but something very hurtful happened to me and my heart is hurting right now (nothing to do with my son). i have done nothing but cry for 4days in a row, don’t want to eat and i can’t sleep. i even talked to this person on Wednesday and said we can only say hello but sadly the next day i thought about it and i can’t do that because i love him and it hurts and there is to much water now under the tunnel. so i’m just going to not talk to him anymore and move on. my family and friends are being so nice to me and i have to admit i have been feeling like doing something bad but i just have to look at liam to keep my mind form thinking about hurting myself.
today i have not cried but i still feel the pain. i did something kind of odd. i started to read MY LIFE STORY book i have been doing for 3years now. i thought no keys don’t read it or your going to get upset but nope… after reading it i thought why am i crying.
i might feel very broken right now but life has to move on and it will get better. It just takes time.